My English is not good yet, so I often made mistakes in my emails. I don’t have many emails to write, just several causal letters to thank our neighbors or Claire’s preschool teachers. We’ve moved to U.S for four months et have limited communication with the community.
I waited three months for my job permit, but even I got it, I haven’t begun job research, since I know it’s difficult for me to start an other career, with only expertise in another language’s teaching. So I stay at home, wondering what to do next. Meanwhile, I wander around to discover the city.
I wrote one day to Claire’s main teacher, “I wander if it’s permitted to take pictures of others kids at school?” Later after sending the mail, I was suddenly aware of having made a huge mistake. Why I tapped “wander” in place of “wonder”? So shamed of myself, I went out hiking in the mountain. My daily life is fulfilled with increasing frustration with my English level, especially when I remembered how proud I was in another foreign language – French.
My new life is not perfect. My past bumped up to make me reconsider the value of actual life. I lived in a big modern city, tired with daily noisy and stress but consoled by familiar traditions and taken-for-granted security. My family struggled to move out of China in order to land on a better place, even we didn’t figure out how better would it be. Now living finely under the blue sky, our mind is still confusing. Is this the life we looked for? Are there so many culture chocks as we learned in books ? What are the challenges to handle ?
I’m afraid to wander in the new city, frightened by daily news focusing on gun violence and crashes. Being told to keep safe one thousand times, I just permit myself to wonder in lieu of wandering in touch with the variety of the society.
But the most exciting part of my daily wanderwonderling is to write down what made me happy, sad, thankful, anxious or just idle. Writing is never boring. Writing in another language is an exploration, like wandering in the strange mountains, like wondering wonderful things or even unbelievable fictitious experiences.
Keep wonder and wander with words.